It’s hard to believe a year ago today I pushed a baby out of my…….well, you know how it works. Pardon my excitement, but that was the first thought I had this morning when I woke up – that one year ago today I was pushin’! One year…..We made it! And excuse me if this sounds self-absorbed or insincere, but baby’s first birthday is just as much a celebratory event for the parents as it is for the baby – the baby who has absolutely no clue that it is his birthday today. But today I feel awesome because we made it. The first year is always the hardest in my opinion. The lack of sleep, the all-consuming dependence the baby has on mommy, the one-way communication, the lack of sleep, the sleepless nights…. can you tell I didn’t sleep enough this year? I certainly wrote about it enough. Not to mention the changes your body endures – the proverbial plug that is pulled as soon as you give birth, the hormones that spike and fall, the skin that tries to find it’s way back to where it once belonged, the boobs that swell and deflate from Ds to As like a party trick gone wrong (… and might I add that I discovered today that my beloved Target doesn’t carry AAs?? Yes, Target, some people actually need this size. Shocking, I know, but we do exist….)
And yet as exhausting as the first year is, it is also pretty freakin’ amazing. You get to experience some of the most wonderful things in life – like childbirth which is hands down the coolest experience on the planet, the 3 days of “vacation” that you get to spend in the hospital after having the baby, the most beautiful fragrance on earth – the smell of a newborn, or even better, a warm, sweet baby asleep on your chest (I know these things are cliche, but does it get any better??)
….. and not to mention all the firsts. One day they say “ga” and the next day they say “da” and you totally freak out, squeal with pride, call the grandparents, take 87 million pictures and 14 videos …. and then the next day they smile (and it wasn’t a fart smile) and the cycle repeats. Twelve thousand pictures later you have year one well documented.
But now that my baby is one I sort of feel like, “Aaaaahhhhhhh!” Big sigh of relief. I am glad that first year is over. I am glad that I don’t have to remember to take his picture on the 10th of every month anymore. (To be honest, I only made it to month 7, but the guilt of forgetting to remember has really been weighing on me. Seriously what kind of a mother am I? ) Not that things are going to get easier with a one year old, but the infant “stuff” is exhausting and I am glad that we are beyond it. I am excited that my baby’s personality is growing and that he is starting to interact with his older brothers. Heck, they actually pay attention to him now and think he is pretty funny. I am excited that he can join in on their fun and that I can too….I don’t have to “stay back with the baby” as much and miss everything.
Buuut, knowing my track record, this lasts about 3 months and then I get the itch to have another baby. We will see. Time will tell. Never say never. But definitely not right now! Right now I am drinking a glass of wine (shocking, I know), and making a toast to year one. We did it. We kept him alive and he only fell off the changing table once.