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A Little Story about Love

November 6, 2013

When my first son was born he was my one and only. (Well, Obviously). I had all of him and he had all of me. No distractions, no competition, just a mother and son and a whole lot of love.

Here’s the thing. Now I have 3 kids and each time another beautiful boy was born, my heart grew. It grew enough to wrap each little boy in the endless love that I have for them. Sorry, is this mushy? Ok this post might be a little mushy, but just bear with me, I promise I have a point….I think? My boys are 4 1/2, 2 1/2, and 1/2. Yes, I am busy. Yes I “have my hands full”…. (and thank you to all the people at the supermarket who like to point that out to me. Is it a compliment? Stating the obvious? Do I look like I’m drowning and need an extra hand? If so, stop gawking at my kids and HELP ME!)…

Anyway, yes, my everyday life is kinda sorta crazy. I am “in it”. In the thick of that thing they call child rearing…and it is some seriously hard stuff. So hard that sometimes I just need ONE of my babies to be semi self-sufficient. It’s gotta be my 4 year old, right? He is the oldest and most capable. I need him to get dressed on his own, brush his own teeth, feed himself, find his own socks, put on his own shoes, zip his own jacket. I need him to walk and not need to be held… because if I had to do all that 3X we would have to wake up at 6am just to be out the door by 8. Oh wait, we are up at 6am….

My point is, I need him to be a little more independent than he wants to be. In fact, I think I asked him to feed the baby his lunch while I helped my other son in the bathroom… (the son who was potty trained at 2 years old, but can’t seem to figure out how to pull up his own pants). And yesterday, I asked him to brush his little brother’s teeth while I put the baby to bed….What’s next? Asking him to make dinner while I vacuum? I expect a lot of him and get frustrated when he doesn’t comply. He acts out a lot, he whines a lot which only fuels my fire and I say things like, “You need to act like a big boy and set a good example for your little brothers.”

I try. I try to spread my attention evenly to each of my babies… because they really are all still babies, but the attention tends to shift to the neediest which are my younger two. But tonight something happened that made me realize I need to dig deep and redistribute my attentiveness…

boys

I put my boys to bed and was enjoying the silence after a hectic day. Fifteen minutes later my oldest son cried down to me saying, “Hold me mommy! Hold me!” I was tempted to yell, “Just go to bed, buddy! I just kissed you and tucked you in. Everything is ok so just go to bed.” I went up anyway because it is unlike him to cry.

When I entered the room he squeezed me tight and whispered, “I want a treat mommy.” He has got to be kidding me! I swear I am throwing all of that damn Halloween candy away… but before I could finish my though he continued…

“I want a treat that you don’t eat.”

“Okay??? What is it that you want, little buddy?”

“I want you to lay with me.”

His lip curled and then my heart melted into a million little pieces.

I climbed up into the top bunk, let the mom-guilt settle in, blinked a little tear, and then held him hard enough to let him know how much I really love him.

  • Lauren Longenecker
    November 6, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    I could not resonate with this anymore. You hit the nail on the head.

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 8, 2013 at 1:56 pm

      Thanks, Lauren! Soon you are going to be in the exact same boat with 3! Hope you are feeling good and hanging in there!

  • Timothy Waterman and Jolly Waterman
    November 6, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    Hey Lindsey, great story! I enjoyed the ending. My mom was reading over my shoulder as I was reading out loud. She said that it was cute.

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 8, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      Thanks, Tim! Glad you and your mom enjoyed it!!

  • lisa schiel
    November 6, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    Its okay , Linds. You are an amazing mom and ALL your boys know that and will always know it.

  • Abby
    November 6, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    Such a lovely story.. Definitely a tear jerker 😉

  • Katie
    November 7, 2013 at 7:35 am

    I teared up! You are such a good mommy!

  • Natalie
    November 7, 2013 at 7:53 am

    beautiful!

  • Casey Leigh
    November 7, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Made me cry!! Xoxoxo

  • Katie
    November 7, 2013 at 8:57 am

    Love this post! Don’t let the mom guilt interfere with knowing what an amazing mom you are!

  • Jamey (Favorite-Bro-In-Law)
    November 7, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    Lin- Great post. Stay strong, you’re doing great.

    Love,

    Jame

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 7, 2013 at 7:32 pm

      Thanks jamey! There was a moment of calm when Casey was over today.. I think she thought she was in the wrong house!

  • Katelyn
    November 8, 2013 at 9:40 am

    LOVE this Lindsey. Thanks for sharing… and for the reminder. 🙂

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 8, 2013 at 1:54 pm

      Glad I am not alone…. and thanks for reading, Katelyn!

  • Denise
    November 8, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Hi Lindsey,
    I just happened to see your blog for the first time today through a repost on Facebook. I also have 3 boys and my oldest who is 7 did this very same thing last night and like you I knew he needed it. I also climbed up to the top bunk and made a mental note to do it more often. It is nice to hear others have the same experiences. Thanks for sharing!

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 8, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Yay another boy mom! I guess none of us are alone when it comes to these types of things! Thank you so much for reading!

  • Gina Badalaty
    November 8, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Great story! They really do need us for longer than we think, and that’s ok.

  • Lois Sack
    November 8, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Lindsey–Your “little” story about love is great–You should write a series of stories like this, both heartfelt and funny, and get a job as a columiist (you have notng else to do).

    h

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 9, 2013 at 8:02 am

      Thanks, Lois! Yes, in my spare time I can do that :)… but thanks for the compliment! Maybe you can be my editor!

  • Deirdre
    November 9, 2013 at 4:01 am

    Hey There!
    I can relate to this 100%. My three are 5, 4 and 2 1/2 and it it crazy town! But all those things you’ve asked you 4 1/2 yr old to do I’ve asked my son to do as well. Thanks for reminding me to take a breath and remember that he’s a kid too. And if one more person tells me I’ve got my hands full…so help me! Thanks again!

    • Sisters to Sons
      November 9, 2013 at 8:04 am

      Hi Deirdre! I love hearing from other boy moms! Thanks so much for reading! And I know, seriously….even if I have my kids totally under control people tell me I have my hands full.. what’s with that?!

  • Embracing The Good Life
    November 9, 2013 at 8:19 am

    What a precious moment…that’s what makes this the most fulfilling job in the world!

  • NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner
    November 9, 2013 at 9:34 am

    Oh how I get this. I have a 4 year old and a 2 month old. There are so many times he has to be big because I’m taking care of the little. It is so hard to remember that really, he is little too. I hope you enjoyed your snuggle!

  • KG
    November 10, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    What a sweet post! I think often times we forget that they are all our babies even when they are 14 and in high school like my oldest..who a lot of the time takes care of the 2 year old..!!

    Visiting from #SitsSharefest

    Keep it Touched,
    KG
    http://www.kgstyleblogs.com

  • Susan
    January 29, 2015 at 8:37 pm

    what a beautiful post, Lindsey… and you are a wonderful and loving mom!!

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